An Undertaking

In the course of my lifetime, there have been not a small number of, shall we say misadventures that I have undergone.

I've often thought of writing a book but, much like Auntie Mame, I too need a sponge- an Agnes Gooch, as it were, to follow me around and write the pearls of wisdom that spill from my matcha-scented mouth.

Perhaps I should start with a list. An ongoing list of said exploits so my Topamax®-addled mind isn't lost to myself so quickly.
See, how I see it is I keep the list going of stories I've told of the adventures I've had. And maybe one day I even get into the whole stories!

The thing is, a lot of interesting things have happened to a very common human. That human is me. I've told these interesting things to my children and some of their friends; the common consensus was to write a book. Then we laughed and I said "Double Ass-pennies to you!"*

Then, of course, I have to be careful about naming names; I won't name names- I'm a good girl, I am! (she said in a poor, Cockney accent)

Another thought I had: Should I actually write out the stories or tell them in a video blog since when I've told the stories in the past, it has always been orally.

Do you see my quandary?


The List Of Topics Will Follow In A Future Blog

*I will include The Ass-Pennies Story

~30~

A Post 47-Years In The Making

Nary a day goes by when one wonders what little surprises may await us.
Maybe a new cereal will be brought home from the market, or perhaps a stray puppy-kitten will suddenly need a new home.

Even better, perhaps that new cereal will have a new puppy-kitten as the prize inside the box!
Point being, if you are open to a little change, sometimes something wonderful can happen.

"Shani, WTF are you on about?" I can hear you thinking.
 Lemme get to that.

I hardly add people to my Fahchay (spelled: f-a-c-e) Book.
As a private (HA?) person, this chica is pretty damn careful about whom she adds and when.
But when I saw this one particular request, Honey lemme tell you, her name looked familiar.
"Think, Shani!" I said unto myself as I was doing just that when it hit me-OW!

This was a name I just saw on Ancestry.com and oh, ok, this is a relative. Ok, Coo' coo'.
CLICK: "add friend"

More like: ADD SISTER!

*shani, how delicate*

Thanks!

*anytime*

That's right, this only child is an Older Sister!

Now, I'm not going to go into the details in here since that is not important. What is important is the overall feeling this is giving me. The effect, I guess?
OK, Lemme try to put this into words, the best way I know how.

You know when someone passes away and time/existence seems surreal at times? Well, gaining a new, grown-up, walking-talking sibling is very much like that- but in a happy way. The surreal hits you but with positive feelings. Yeah, confusing at times and I wake up in the middle of the night thinking "I fucking have a SISTER!" ... On the whole a very satisfying experience!
I highly recommend it.

*did you compare your younger sister to a box of cereal, shani?*

No, a puppy-kitten. Now hush.

*oh, this oughta be fun*

~30~

I Should Be Playing RDR2

Let's see how long bloggy-woggy this lasts, but I have a tale to tell.

I bonded with ol' Java Bean who was struck by a train. It was a heartbreaking dose of reality one learns while playing Red Dead Redemption II (pronounced "eye-eye").

I ran back to a stable in Valentine, weepin' and wailin' to get back my saddle and my back-burner horse (I love you, baby).

There he was, my Espresso Bean. Ok, we need to bond. First things first, I gots to do your hairs. Not because I am a vain Arthur, oh no. I am a blind Arthur! Yaaaassss, this bitch cannot see a thing in front of her fahchay (spelled "f-a-c-e") and that is why I stream. See, I stream the game from Xbox so I can see things closer on the computer ... thusly, I braid and colour the horse's mane and tail a contrasting shade so I know it's my horse!

This is making total sense, right?
Of course, it is. Keep up with me- my story gets better.

Espresso Bean and I are riding high and doing quite well when we get into a hitch and our get-along is tripped right off a cliff. FFFUUuuuuu.

I honestly have no idea what the hell happened but I end up in Saint Denis (pronounced "omelette du fromage") and I'm totally confused. I start rummaging through my saddlebags for some health tonics or what-not, blah-blah-yaddah, and suddenly I punch my horse BAM!

"OH, BABY, Shit! I am so sorry!" I yell out and every animal in my family room looks up, yawning and nod knowingly at each other in the knowledge that I have indeed punched my horse again.

I run to Espresso Bean feeling just so low and I get to him and who the fuck is this horse? "Is this the horse I punched? Did I punch you?"
I watch me make Arthur walk around like a damn fool looking at various horses for my tell-tale braids.

Nothing.

No braids anywhere.

Who did I punch?

*whistle*

This white horse- the one I layed into- comes sauntering up. With Arthur's saddle complete with the upgraded stirrups. This Tennessee Walker is Arthur's new horse and Espresso Bean is DEAD!

Holy crap, he fell off that cliff and died! I didn't deserve that horse!

All right, now I got a new horse. What do ... go braid and colour hair, change name: I dub the Latte!

Floof-floof-floof and were done; back to camp!

I set the waypoint and start on to Horseshoe Overlook. It's a ways back and I have bonding to do sooo ... that happens ... things are going great ... I'm about three-quarters the way back to camp when I see what had previously said "Bonding Level 3" now said FUCKING LEVEL 1 WHO'S HORSE AM I ON?

I am sitting on a dark brown (?) horse whereas Latte was white with bright braids this horse ISN'T FUCKING MINE! Who's saddle is this? This is a shit saddlebag!

*whistle**whistle*
*WHIIIIIISTLEEEEEEEEE*

Too damn far for my -MY- horse to hear me.
Gotta go back and get mah horsie.

At least it ends with me/Arthur being a good guy at camp bringing back what ended up being a really great little filly!

And Latte has a friend ...
as long as I can keep them alive and stop punching them.

Odd thing is, I am really great with animals.

~30~